Friday, August 29, 2014

Goodbye, Kuks

I remembered how you used to bark really loud whenever I get home. And as soon as opened the door and went up to the second floor stairway, you always jump around excitedly and wanted to play.

I remembered how you often want me to rub your head and smell my hand.

I remembered when you turned around and snubbed me, as if telling me that you don't wanna talk to me, that one time where I went straight to my room and didn't rub your head first as soon as I got home.

I remembered when I used to feed you when your mommy's going to be home late from overtime at work.

I remembered when I used to check your water as soon as I get home to make sure you're not dehydrated due to the extreme heat of the summer.

I remembered how you always love to run around the place whenever you're let out of your pen.

I remembered your fat cheeks.

I remembered your huge butt.

I remembered how heavy you were.

I remembered how you always peek at me in my room.

I remembered how scared shit you were whenever there's a cockroach near you.

I remembered a lot of cute things about you too.

I will always remember that little, sometimes annoying, and lovable housemate who lives in front of my room.

Goodbye, Kuks. I'll miss you. :(


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Fairy Godmother

We all have times when we are down and needed to let it out. We all have times when we wanted to be alone too. Honestly, I'm not really good at making people feel better. I'm always lost for words when I read friends blog entries when they blog about their depressions, their fears, and how hard they live their lives. This is because I know exactly how it feels and I know that whatever I may say, it wont really help much because when you're at that state, "people just don't understand" what you're going through. When people are wounded and in pain, they just don't hear anything else.

However, because I know exactly how it feels, at least, I wanted to be there for them and let them know that someone out there also feels the same way and/or knows how they feel and that they're not alone. Even though they reject them now, little by little, soon enough, they can open up to them. When their hearts finally stop raging, and crying, they'll be able to listen calmly and feel that there are people who actually cares for them with no strings attached. Even though it's just a small gesture, I hope it makes people feel a bit better.

I wish I was a fairy godmother so that I can make all these simple, honest, wishes come true. But I'm only human, and a friend and all I can do is listen when they're ready to speak.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Flooded Room

So I went out of town last week, if you noticed, I wasn't around for almost a week. I went back to our house in the province to have a vacation. I like it there because everything is rural—no busy streets, no pollution, the country side are the best! I went offline since I got there. And, as you might've aleady known, I'm an occasional shut-in. And this is one of those times where I disappear from the universe just to lock myself up in my room and play PS games for an entire week.

Anyway, when I got back last night, I found my room flooded with water. Due to the bad weather and that there's something wrong with the drainage in the house where I'm renting a room at, the water went up about ankle high. It's not that high, but the water stayed for a few days and that I wasn't at home to salvage my things. I usually lock my room because the kids from the house where I'm renting room at are always playing with my stuff, and they usually mess up the stuff in my room.

I was bummed about it because 75% of my stuff are stored under my bed and they're all wet. Most of them are shoes. The saddest part of it is that my favorite boots got soaked and damaged by the water. And since it's a cheap synthetic leather, it was damaged beyond repair.

On a brighter side, my books and comics were all safe because I packed them all inside plastic bags when I was cleaning, and got lazy to unpack and arrange them, so I left them all in plastic bags.

Moral of the story, being lazy has it perks sometimes. LOL! XD

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Busy, Busy.

I've been crazy busy the past month from tons of things. I've been jumping here and there at work, trying to catch up with work related things. And during the few free time I get, I'm composing and sending tons of apology emails for my site that's been down. As of this moment, it's been two months now and running. I got a message from my host that it'll be up "soon." I do not know when that "soon" is, but I hope it won't take me another 2 months of waiting.

I never really got the chance to send emails to my affiliates. I think they're starting to remove me from their affiliates already. Aside from that, so far, I have received confirmation that there have been 2 sites where I collect cyberstamps from, who have already removed me from their collector's lists. As for the pixel sites, since I'm a member of TSVP and I've pretty much active in LJ pixel community, I've mostly informed people about what's going on in my site. All that's left is waiting for it to come back up, hopefully, soon, somehow.

Monday, August 11, 2014

After Midori

I'm trying to keep myself busy avoiding the depression from my loss of Midori. Somehow, the fact of it doesn't seem to have sank in until a few weeks later, when you start to miss her. Losing your pet you have been taking care of for 16 years is kind of, I don't know how to explain it better than the word, "depressing."

Honestly, it's kind of draining me mentally, just thinking about it. At first, it feels like it doesn't matter much, because you've been expecting that she'd pass sooner or later due to age, but when you start remembering those little things about her, you just can't help but be sad. I don't know how much longer I would have this feelings lingering but I try to cope up with it as much as I could. I've been through more than this when my dad and grandmother died, so I know I can make it through. I just need a little more time to sort myself out a bit and move on. Life, after all, is all about moving on.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Not Dead Yet

Hi guys!

I'm not dead yet! My site's still down, and yes, my email is bouncing back. I know about it, and I'm really sorry. I've already contacted my host and that they are already working on having it back up. Thank you for all the messages of concern. I felt like I had to post something to let you guys know, by the amount of messages I get from different communities I'm in.

If you need to contact me, please email me at nvrexisted at, for the meantime.

For the graphics, sigtags and blinkies, please just credit them back to, like usual.

Up-time, as of this moment, is yet to be certain, but I promise you that I'm not about to change my domain name not after more than 10 years. I'll try to leave a short message here about the progress, if there are any.

Thank you very much!


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