(English Translation: Taxi Story: Sex)

I had a funny experience about the Taxi (or Cab) that I rode last night that I thought it's worth blogging about.

I usually ride the bus home, but since I'm sick, and too lazy to walk all the way from MRT Station Ayala to Park Square just to ride a jeepney again, so I decided to ride a cab home. So there I was in front of the building where I work waiting for a cab to stop, and a cab did stop after a few minutes of waiting. I was peeking at the cab because I thought it was another person's service. And then, I decided to ride it. Inside the cab...



(I also provided English Translations of the conversations below the post, for my friends who can't understand Tagalog.)

Driver: Akala ko, pinipili mo kung gwapo ba o hindi yung driver bago ka sumakay.

Euri: Hindi naman po. Akala ko po service kayo eh.

Driver: Ah ganun ba? Meron kasi diyang iba, namimili eh. Tinitignan muna nila kung gwapo ba iyong driver o panget. Hindi nila alam, yung mga gwapong driver na ganun, tinira na ng mga bading yun.

Euri: Haha! Bat niyo po alam? (Tinira ka na siguro ng badaf.)

Driver: Meron kasi akong pasaherong ganyan dati. Silahis din. Pinaakyat niya ako sabi niya, "Paki tulungan mo naman ako sa taas. Hindi ko kayang buhatin, mabigat." Tapos umakyat naman ako. Tapos, pag akyat ko, binababa na yung pantalon ko.

Euri: Wahaha! Ang bilis po eh no? ("Silahis din?" Hmm...!! Ayy!! Mukhang korek akish, ka-federasyon din va?)

Driver: Tinatanggal na yung sinturon ko eh. Dalidali, takbo kagad ako.

Euri: Wahaha! (Tsk! Wag nang maghugas ng kamay at ikay, vuking na!)

Driver: Tapos meron naman akong naisakay na mga babae dito sa Forbes (the cab went past Forbes - just in case you guys don't know, Forbes is a place where tons of rich people live). Ang sesexy. Bihis na bishis. Tapos kinalabit ako nung isang babae. Sabi sakin, "Kuya, may kilala po ba kayong 'gusto?' 5,000 lang." Tapos ang sabi ko, "Akala ko naman disente kayo. Tapos tiglilimang-libo lang pala kayo." Tapos binigyan ko sila, hinaplos-halpos ako nung isa, nagpapasalamat.

Euri: Haha! Magaganda po ba?

Driver: Aba, oo naman! Mapuputi pa.

Euri: Hindi po ba yung mga foreigner, mas gusto nila yung mga.. uhm.. maiitim?

Driver: Mga panget?

Euri: Hindi naman po panget. Exotic naman po. Morena?

Driver: Ah, oo. Kasi yung mga ganun, halimbawang mga ita ano, masasarap yung mga yun. Mababango sila. Umaapaw ang ligaya! Napaka sarap! Langit na langit talaga ang pakiramdam kapag natikman mo na sila. Talagang hinding hindi ka magsisisi. Wala silang katulad. Pagsisilbihan ka pa. Hihiga ka na lang at sila na gagalaw. Kahit ano pa gawin mo sa kanila, kung anu-ano pang disenyo.Nakadapa o ano pa man.

Euri: Ganun po ba yun?

Driver: Oo! Sinasabi ko sayo, hindi ka magsisisi!

Euri: Haha!

Driver: Tapos nung minsan naman, 19 years old. Hindi pa raw nakatikim. Sinampolan ko nga. Naghotel kami ng 2 oras.

Euri: San niyo naman po pinick-up?

Driver: Dito. Sakay ko.

Euri: Ah, pasahero niyo po.

Driver: Oo. Mag-aaply daw siya ng trabaho dito sa Makati, sa may BPI. Katapos eh nag hotel kami...

Euri: ... (Honestly, I'm starting to get bored. Heterosexual relationships in story mode is boring. Reading ecchi manga is even more interesting than this. -.-)

[Insert detailed sex story here - I can't remember them, since I'm not listening to them anymore.]

Euri: Taga san po kayo? (Obviously changing the topic.)

Driver: Taga Pangasisnan ako.

Euri: Ah. San naman po kayo sa Pangasinan?

Driver: [Insert location here].

Euri: San po yon?

Driver: Malapit sa Dagupan.

Euri: Ah...

Then, the driver was telling stories again about how active and exciting his sex life is which I am not in least bit interested. When we're about a few blocks away from where I'll be getting off, he started saying how good he is in bed on which, came off to me as some futile attempt of selling himself to me. When I got off, he gave me his number and told me if I needed one, I could give him a call.

So for those who are interested of having a wild ride with Mr. Cab Driver with your sex stories being told in each and every passenger he gets, here's his mobile number: 09196889941

Mr. Cab Driver should thank me for advertising his sideline business of being a call boy.

--

English Translations for the conversations above:

Driver: I thought you were trying to pick if the driver is handsome or not before you ride.

Euri: Not really, I thought you were someone's service.

Driver: Oh. There are other passengers like that looks at the driver first if he's handsome or not. They just don't know that those kind of drivers were already banged by gays.

Euri: Haha! How do you know? (Perhaps you were done by a gay?)

Driver: I once had a passenger like that. He's also bisexual. He asked me to go up to his place and said, "Can you help me carry my stuff. I can't carry them, they're heavy." So I went up. Then, when I went up, he was pulling my pants down.

Euri: Wahahaha! He's quick, no? ("He's also bisexual?" Hmm..!! Does that mean you are gay too? And was I right after all?)

Driver: He was removing my belt. I ran shit scared.

Euri: Wahaha! (Tsk! Don't try to deny it anymore! You're gay, your gay!)

Driver: Then, one time, I had female passengers here in Forbes (the cab went past Forbes - just in case you guys don't know, Forbes is a place where tons of rich people live). They were gorgeous and very. They wear classy clothes. Then one of them, asked me, "Do you know anyone who 'wants' to? Only 5,000." Then I answered them, "I thought you were decent people and you're just only for five thousand pesos." Then I gave them clients, the other one touched me all over as thanks.

Euri: Hindi po ba yung mga foreigner, mas gusto nila yung mga.. uhm.. maiitim?

Driver: Oh, yes! They are really pretty. And they have nice complexion too.

Euri: Isn't it that most foreigners prefers those with darker skin tones?

Driver: Ugly people?

Euri: Not ugly. Exotic ones. Morena?

Driver: Ah, yes. Because those types are delicious. They have beautiful scent. It feels like heaven when you do it with them. They're very very delicious. You will never regret it. They're one of a kind. They'll even serve you. All you need is lie there and they'll do everything. You can do anything you want with them. No matter what style.

Euri: Really?

Driver: Yeah. I'm telling you! You don't regret it!

Euri: Haha!

Driver: Then there was one time, I had a girl. She was 19 years old. She said she never tried it before. So I sampled her. We checked-in for 2 hours.

Euri: Where did you pick her up?

Driver: Here. She's my passenger.

Euri: Ah, a passenger.

Driver: Yeah. She was applying for a job in BPI (a bank) here in Makati. Then after, we went to a hotel.

Euri: ... (Honestly, I'm starting to get bored. Heterosexual relationships in story mode is boring. Reading ecchi manga is even more interesting than this. -.-)

[Insert detailed sex story here - I can't remember them, since I'm not listening to them anymore.]

Euri: Where's your hometown? (Obviously changing the topic.)

Driver: I'm from Pangasisnan (a province).

Euri: Ah. Where in Pangasinan?

Driver: [Insert location here].

Euri: Where's that??

Driver: It's near Dagupan (a city in Pangasinan).

Euri: Ah...