If you only knew how hard it is to live and drive yourself to go on with your life without any known purpose of why you should. But even so, living without a purpose is better than merely living for a narcistic and unlawful deity, whom you credit all the great things you've done where in fact, you were the one who did it in the first place and He just watched; and damn the ever so evil antagonist deity that He, Himself created and casted out from Heaven to make him look more like a protagonist in the battle of "good and evil" where good always wins.
If you only knew how hard Atheist strives to live equally in a country where everyone thinks of them as people who "doesn't think", "heartless", "demons", "manifestations of evil", "Satan-possessed" and so the list goes on...; and the pain of everyone you love leaving you only for the petty reason that they think you are "Satan-Manifested" just for not believing, haunts you each night.
If you only knew how hard it is to keep unbelieving when everything seems to turn away from you because of it.
If you only knew the great pain, you might have not survived.
Atheism is not a trend. Do not claim you are an Atheist when you do not even know what it is. Don't you even dare think, that when you are an Atheist, you are already considered as "cool." What kind of childish reasoning is that?
If you want to know what it is, then sorry. I am not the right person to do massive explaining. Aside from the fact that Patience is not my virtue, I am incapable as well. And just so because I am kind enough to help, I will recommend my dear friend Atheist-Seeker. Read his blog. You might find what you're looking for there. :)