Will someone tell me why a god wouldn’t do something as simple as that to prevent the existence of infidels and thus human barbecues in hell? I mean, dude.
- Martin's post Dear God.
You see, God is a great marketing strategist. Of course, because He is God. Since he created everything your eyes could see, everything your nose can smell, everything your ears could hear, everything your skin could feel and everything your hands would touch. To make it short, damn everything! And because he is such an omni-everything, thinking of a good marketing plan is as easy as kicking a lifeless stone lying around your path. And so he thought of a good plan to promote himself and he gave us this thing called "freedom." (I would like to emphasize the word "FREE.") This "freedom" gives us the ability to choose. We can choose weather to believe in Him or not. (I would like to point out that not believing doesn't mean denying.) But of course, like any other product promotion, it has a catch. Of course, there is no such thing as giving without getting something in return. The mere idea of it is just plain stupid. Anyway, here's the catch: if you choose to believe in him, you would be entitled with a free ticket to heaven. But of course, this ticket still depends on how you lived your life on Earth. If you broke the promo mechanics a.k.a. the Ten Commandments, that ticket wont be awarded to you. And of course, if you did not believe in him, there's no ticket for you. Nyeh. Therefore, you'll die suffering in the fires of hell for all eternity. Very easy to follow conditions, no? Even if you're not educated, you would still be able to understand. But then since I am a person with a limited logical capability, a.k.a. a retard, all those would mean the same thing to me as "Love me/believe in me or suffer forever in the fires of hell."
Oh and since we're talking about hell, Satan is promoting his new and improved oven that would fit about 500 trillion people inside. He said, he was expecting a lot in his door by the time the world ends so he'll have the need for a few thousands more of such ovens so the other ovens are still under construction.
If you want a demonstration, just follow these 3 easy steps:
- Get a knife. The sharper, the better.
- Stab yourself. Anywhere is fine just make sure you die, okay? Half dead and under a vegetable state in a hospital doesn't count. If in case your hands start to shiver, even before you stab yourself, better give it up because you're a wuss. You can try again later, however.
- Wait until the end of the world comes. I'm pretty sure, someone will pick you up or better yet, you'll fall?