Saturday, August 19, 2006

It's Okay to Cry

Just a draft of one another fiction. Based on a mixed of reality and not. I'll finalize it later this evening. My head hurts. T_T

--

She was walking the streets on her way home, one day.
"Yo. musta?", someone snuck through her back, grining widely.

Expressionless, thinking who could the idiot be, and she was surprized.

"You're alive?"

"Of course, what do you expect?", he winked.

"Still a big flirt, I see."

She remembers how he was always surrounded by girls back in their school days.

"Yeah, still pretty much the same old me. And what about you? What happened to you?"

"What, what happened to me?"
Stares at her from head to foot, stopped, and goes around looking at her.

"Stop staring at me like that, idiot.", she puched him in the arms.

"Gosh, your attitude never fades. You're still flat chested as it was. But what the heck's wrong with your taste, nowadays? You've become... geeky."

"What the~!"

"Wooww... Easy, girl."

Turns around a starts leaving.

Catches up, running, "Wait up! Is that how you are to treat someone after not seeing each other for years?"

"..."

"Seriously... you've changed a lot."

"..."

"Alam mo, you're always the type who never leaves the house without accessories. Christmas tree kung baga. Not to meantion, you're a cross-freak. Everytime we see something with a cross, binibili mo kaagad, without even any hesitation. Good thing ankh never interest you, but your heck scary of buying all those crosses. Aside from that, you never leave your house without wearing at least one. Now I'm seeing you without any accessories, without even a cross-earing, and on top of that, in a colored shirt? I'm getting sick."

"Shut up!"

"..."

"I've... changed..."

"I know."

"..."

"For how long have you been this way?"

"I couldn't quite remember, sorry."

"This is not you."

"..."

"Is it because of him, that you changed this much?"

"No, I wanted to change my image. I wanted to be someone who can approach people. Someone friendly. Someone..."

"... not you."

"How can you say that? You don't even know how I feel."

"Putang ina! Stop living in lies!"

"..."

"I know perfectly how you feel. Of all people, It is I who knows you best."

"..."

"Do you still wear your boots?", a sudden change of topic.

"Of course. I even bought one recently."

"..."

"By the way, I love those eyeliners your wearing."

"It's Revion, you know."

"Rich as ever."

"..."

"..."

Out of the blue, "Hindi ko na pakikialaman ang bago mong lifestyle.", staring at a rock, looking serious, and kicks it, "Gusto mo yan eh.", kicks another rock, "I just want you to stop wearing that mask. Be yourself. Do this not for me, but for yourself."

Looked down the floor, "Yes."

"...", stares up the sky.

Sits on the floor, "Honestly...", staring at the floor, "nagising ako ng isang umagang may kulang sa sarili ko. Tagal ko ko ring nakatulala't iniisip ko kung ano nga ba yung bagay na yun na kulang sakin. Narealized ko na lang isang araw, habang inaayos ko yung mga gamit ko, na hindi ko na kilala kung sino ako. Hindi ko alam kung alin nga ba dito ang totoong ako. I felt so unreal. I felt so sad taht of all things I have to lose, I have to lose myself. Then, I started to think kung san ako magsisimulang maghanap. Where would I start looking for myself. Everytime I remember that I don't even know where to start looking, I tremble in fear. Fear na hindi ko na mahanap ang sarili ko."

"..."

"At some point, I'm thankful to have seen you here, randomly", smiles with tears forming in her eyes, "you made me realise who I was. I could start from there. Maybe eventually, I could find my true self."

"And when you do, you are to treat me with a luxurious meal."

"Areyou planning to get me broke? For so you know, I'm jobless."

"For hell I care. Gumawa ka ng paraan.", smiles, "Well, gotta go, see ya!"

"Bye... and thank you..."

He waved his hand while walking further away.

"That stupid guy." she thought.

Suddenly...

*beep beep*

"Text? Now who could be texting me?"

She was shocked to receive a text message from him, her best friend, we just just talking with him a while ago.

"Sweatheart, this is your Tita. My son, he just died of a car accident."

As she goes on reading, she was shocked and rushed to their house. As she suddenly barged in, she saw his mother, crying in the living room.

His mother approched her and said crying, "He just arrivedfrom the airport and was on his way to your house to surprize you that he's back. But the taxi he was riding hit a bus. He was rushed to the hospitalbut he died before he even arrived. I just got a call from the hospital when I text you."

His mother's voice is slowly fading. Until she can no longer hear anything. She just stared at the woman in front of her in shock. It's as if her world stopped. Her body became numbed. And her strength were drained away from her as if some force is sucking it up. Not a teardrop fell from her eyes. Even until the burial was over, she remained in shock and still, not crying.

His mother felt pity on her and embraced her tight. Softly, she said, "Sweatheart, it's okay to cry..."

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